The most important thing for me as a parent has been to teach my kids to talk to me. I don't mean the one word answers, or that answer we all know and love - "NOTHING". Over the years I have trained them that those one word answers don't give me the information that I am looking for, and I will keep gently asking questions until I get details.
I don't do this to be nosy. I do this to get them in the habit of talking to me. About their day, what they had for lunch, what did they play today, who did they play with? It's always a very casual conversation and I usually don't even have to prod them to talk, I just ask questions and listen to their answers. Sometime we talk about different stuff like what do you want to be when you grow up, who is your best friend, what are you most excited about?
I figure it's easier to get in that habit now, while they're young, then to try and introduce it at 15 when they want nothing to do with me!
Yesterday we had a very busy evening. I stopped by the grocery store on the way home from work, got home, unloaded groceries, started making dinner, had my sister, brother and his girlfriend over for dinner, and cleaned up the kitchen. Not much time with my kids.
As I tucked Ben into bed and started to leave the room, he yelled out "MOM! We didn't even talk about my day yet or what I had for lunch!" It meant so much to me that this had become part of his routine and when it didn't happen, he actually missed it!
I went right back and sat on his bed and we talked about his day.
I know that Ben won't want to tell me everything about his day when he's older. And there is probably a whole lot I won't even WANT to know about. But just knowing that he already likes filling me in on these things makes me think maybe we are doing some things right.
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