How Do I Love Thee?

Conversation between my sister Carla, and my son Ben, the day after Christmas:

Ben:  "Mom, this fruit salad (ambrosia) is delicious!"

Me:  "I know Ben, it's always been your favorite food."

Carla:  "Ben, do you love fruit salad more, or pie?"

Ben:  "FRUIT SALAD!"

Carla:  "Do you love fruit salad more, or homework?"

Ben:  "Auntie Carla, of course I love fruit salad more!"

Carla:  "Do you love fruit salad more, or Uncle Leo?"

Ben (thinking hard):  "I love them the same."

Carla:  "Do you love fruit salad more, or . . . "

Ben:  "Auntie Carla, PLEASE do not make me choose between fruit salad and PIZZA!"


So, Uncle Leo, I guess that tells you where you rate on the food chain.  Literally.

Breaking News

Apparently dogs and cats can be friends.

The Magic Of Christmas

I know that Christmas is about thanking God for our blessings and spending time with family, especially those that we don't get to see very often.  And I make sure to focus on these things and to teach my children the meaning of this day.

But my favorite part about celebrating Christmas is giving gifts.  I absolutely love it.  Especially gifts for Christmas morning.  My kids are big believers in Santa Clause, although Ben is starting to ask a lot of questions.  The strategy of buying, hiding and setting up presents for Christmas morning is so exciting to me!  I also love the hunt of finding the toys that the kids have asked for from Santa.  Frankly, I'm not really sure how people did that before Amazon.com.  They probably had to plan ahead instead of shopping the last week like I do.

My mom was always a big believer in Christmas morning, and I remember all those years when I was a child and so excited to see what was waiting for me under the tree.  I have so much fun creating that same magic for our kids.

Here is what our house looked like after Santa paid a visit, while the kids were still sleeping.

And here's what it looked like once the kids were awake:

It's crazy how fast the morning flies by.  Seeing the kids enjoy playing with their new toys, though, lasts for days on end.  It makes me forget all the stress that this season brings, and reminds me of why Christmas is about cherishing your family and doing things that make them smile - whether it's a new toy, a pecan pie or ambrosia salad.

I hope that you all had a perfect Christmas, too.  Merry Christmas from our crazy family to yours.

Christmas Detox

After the whirlwind that is Christmas around here, we always need a few days to "detox" from the excess.  Darrin and I both need to detox from all the added sugar and calories we've consumed (including my new favorite drink:  coffee with Peppermint Mocha creamer - no it isn't all natural - with homemade whipped cream).  I need to detox from my kitchen, since five solid days of cooking and cleaning dishes has taken a toll on my back and feet.  Our kids need to detox from an influx of presents and visitors and constant stimulation.  Oh, and they need to detox from their new Wii.

And then our son truly needs to detox, in the literal sense of the word, from the excess of chocolate, Stage 2 foods, and possibly even corn syrup, that I let him indulge in over the last few days.

Because no matter how strict we are about diet, even I will give in and let Ben have more chocolate cookies or ambrosia salad at Christmas time.  Today he had all the predictable results of a kid who is reacting.

Chocolate = Extreme Emotions (crying over spilled milk, drama queen)

Stage 2 = Hyper, high pitched scream, fidgety

Corn Syrup = "I hate you Mom, you are SO MEAN!", trouble focusing.

I mean seriously, I can almost predict the time and the words out of his mouth when he's reacting.  Thank goodness for magic soda (1/2 lemonade, 1/2 club soda) and the bicarbonate in the club soda that helps calm Ben's reactions.  After a dose of magic soda at 10:30 this morning, it was smooth sailing until later this evening.  By tomorrow he should be just fine.

Anyway, the reaction today was still worth it, because we had an incredible Christmas.  All of our family was home, we got to visit with everyone.  We ate great food all weekend.  Darrin and my mom and I enjoyed watching the kids open their presents on Christmas morning.  It was just perfect.

Here are pictures of some of my favorite moments of the days leading up to Christmas:

The kids playing Christmas Tic-Tac-Toe

Making Christmas sugar cookies together.  

Ben was totally into wrapping presents this year.  Not quite like
I would do it, but I was very happy for the help and let him wrap almost
all of them.  

Not wanting to be left out, Lia wrapped presents too. 

Lia with her cousins, Brooke & Kirsten, on Christmas Eve at the home of my in-laws. 

My Dad and Carrie at their house, our second stop on Christmas Eve.  

Learning The Planets

This morning, out of the blue:

Ben:  "Mom, I know what Uranus looks like.  I can show you the picture in my book."

Lia:  "I want to see Uranus!"

Me & Darrin:  "Bwahahahahahahaha!"

So, for proof, here's the picture of Uranus.  (Go ahead, just try to keep a straight face!)

Santa Hates Procrastinators

I've done it to myself again.  I had the kids write letters to Santa. . . . AFTER I had already bought their Christmas presents.  Dang it!  Will I never learn?

Here is Ben's letter (translation below for those of you who don't read phonetic spelling):

Translation:  "Dear Santa, I would like to compliment you on your suit shiny red.  Did you know I have 2 cats and 5 chickens and 1 dog?  Can I please have a Indiana Jones Legos?  Will you get me a plane that is legos?  How many reindeer do you have?  You have a red suit, but do you have other suits?  Your friend, Ben."

Lia opted for a visual letter.  I knew I was in trouble when she told me she needed to start her letter by drawing lines to divide the pictures of all the things she wanted. 



Translation:  LalaLoopsy Dolls, Ladybug Happy Napper, Pink BB Gun, Princess Castle, Barbie House (and I have no idea what the Christmas-Tree-Looking-Thingy or the Blue-Tower-On-An-Apple-Thingy are).  

Then, last night Ben rushes up to me with a NEW letter in his hand. 

Ben:  "MOM!!  You need to mail this to Santa RIGHT AWAY!!"

Me:  "Ben, it might be too late.  What did you ask for?"

Ben: "I forgot to put it in my last letter, but it's a plane with a camera, that you hook up and can watch on your computer!"

Me:  "Yup, it's WAY too late to get this in the mail to Santa!"

Last year I found myself shopping for a submarine with five guys at the very last minute.  This year I'm thinking of explaining the shortcomings of a federally-run post office and how things often get lost in the mail. 

Hypocrite

While unpacking Lia's backpack on Saturday morning, I came across this cookie that she must have made during her kindergarten Christmas party on Friday.  It made me gag just looking at it, not only because it had been smooshed in a plastic bag and tossed around in a backpack, but also because it was covered in "food" made of artificial colors and flavors.  Thank goodness she didn't eat it!  I was feeling pretty judgy about the fact that they were serving this in the classroom of all places - since I know what effects this stuff can have on kids with sensitivities. 

But then, about three hours later, while the kids were at my Mom's house so Darrin and I could get some Christmas shopping done (thanks, Mom!), I found myself eating this, and loving it: 

I realize it's a double standard, eating things that I would not let my kids eat.  But I freely admit, that shredded beef El Gordo was worth it!



Questionable Fashion

What better way to celebrate Christmas than to get together with some friends for an Ugly Christmas Sweater Party?

Being a little short on time, I knew I had to borrow a sweater.  And I knew who would have one.

But how do you ask your wonderful stepmom if you can borrow one of her Christmas sweaters to go to an Ugly Christmas Sweater party?  Just didn't sound right.

Luckily, my brother asked her first.  That green collar?  Yeah, not a real shirt underneath - it's part of the sweatshirt.

Pure awesome-ness.

Good thing for us, she still had enough sweaters that Darrin and I could each borrow one, too.  Of course, she cautioned us to take care of them, because she still wears them.

Thanks, Care!

The party was great fun, and I totally enjoyed hanging with the wives of the guys I work with.  We shuffled all the kids into our game room, and hired a sitter to keep track of them so we could relax.  Three lasagnas, a whole bunch of beer, and a little benedryl for some (sorry about that cat allergy, Justin) and the evening was relaxing and full of laughs.

Of course our Russian friends brought with them a giant bottle of Grey Goose vodka, and quite a few shots later, the boys were having a great time.

And that's when the hugs started.  Vodka, a Santa Hat, some cool fashion and a little Christmas spirit seem to bring people together.  Who knew?!?




Also, apparently Christmas sweaters are OK at the Wrangler.  Sure didn't expect that.

I'm pretty sure we need to make this one an annual event.

 

Boys Will Be Boys

My parents made it home for a couple of weeks from their trip around the Great Loop, and while my stepmom Care was out with her Bunco group, my Dad was looking for a place to have dinner.  I told him that I was making three lasagnas tonight for our dinner party on Friday, so he offered to come over and help, in exchange for some pizza.  Which he bought.

Thanks, Dad!

So, while I made three lasagnas, here is how my Dad, Darrin and my brother Leo helped:
by playing army guys.

Which is all fun and games until it gets crazy with a catapult.  And then someone gets hurt.

I'm just not sure if that someone is the army guy that landed in my Dad's wine, my Dad, or the wine?

Anyway, my lasagnas look fantastic!

Careful What You Ask For

Yesterday I was telling my bestie Shawna how overwhelmed I was feeling, and said that I just wanted to curl up in a ball under my covers.  Well, God must have been listening because he kicked me flat on my butt with some sort of stomach flu.  I spent today curled up in a ball under my covers.

Not quite what I had in mind, God!

But it was a good reminder about how great my family is.  Darrin took care of the household chores, made a fire in our fireplace and kept the kids quiet so I could sleep.  Ben brought me a glass of water and made a truck out of legos just for me.  Lia brought me one of her favorite buddies so I wouldn't be lonely while I was sleeping.

With so much going on these few days before Christmas, I really didn't have a day to waste.  But I do have to admit that it was nice to do nothing today - although I wish I had felt better while relaxing.

God, I realize I have to be careful what I ask for!  Please grant me the patience to make it through the next two weeks, getting everything done on my to-do list, while remembering to cherish my family and the time we get to spend together.

There Are No Participation Trophies In Real Life

One of my new favorite websites, Chicks On The Right, posted this podcast from Adam Carolla.  I don't usually like him, but this podcast is spot on and really quite funny.  Of course you have to ignore all the f-bombs and definitely NOT listen to it at work or in front of your small children.

I heard this podcast a few days ago, but for some reason it has really stuck with me and has been food for thought.  Carolla's main point is that we are ruining kids by teaching them to expect a participation trophy for everything they do.  When we give them a participation trophy, which is the same size as the trophy for being MVP, we are eliminating the incentive to excel.

I witnessed this first hand with my own son.  When Ben played soccer two seasons ago, he drove Darrin and I crazy.  He was more into goofing off with his buddies than he was into practicing.  He'd give us a good, focused first half, but then spend more time with his shirt over his head or trying to make people laugh in the second half.  But at the end of the season, the coach passed out a trophy to every child and congratulated them for what they were "best" at.  Ben won the award for best goalie.  Ben loved to play goalie, but there is no way he was the best.  Truth be told, there was one kid on the team - a total superstar - who deserved ALL the trophies!

This year we told Ben we weren't signing him up for soccer because he did not take it seriously last time.  

Ben's first response:   "MOM!  Yes I was serious - I got BEST GOALIE!" 

Ben's participation trophy had sent him a message that his level of commitment (which was low) was not only good enough to get a trophy, but made him equal with the other players.  As a parent, I would rather that Ben had not received any trophy, so that when he asked me why Superstar Kid got one and not him, I could explain that Superstar Kid was very serious at practice, played his hardest even when he was tired in the game, and practiced at home even when he wasn't with his coach.  Those actions made Superstar Kid very good at soccer, which EARNED Superstar Kid the trophy for MVP.

My kid may have gotten his feelings hurt that day, but he would have known what he needed to do to earn that trophy next year.

Now, fast forward 20 years as the "participation trophy" kids are entering the workforce.  These kids have trouble understanding exactly what earns the raises, promotions, private offices or a spot on the layoff list.  And they think life is unfair when they are not recognized for their ability to do their job.

In the real world, the participation trophy for doing your job is getting a paycheck.

You know what earns you an ACTUAL trophy?  EXCELLENT WORK PRODUCT.

That's it.  There's no secret to it.  You want an "Atta Boy"?   Turn out a work product that is BETTER than what I EXPECTED.

As a manager, there are two levels of criteria on which I base my decisions about employees with regards to promotions, wages, private offices or layoffs.  The first and most important criteria, leaps and bounds above all others, is:  Do you consistently do the job you are paid to do accurately, timely, and at the level you should perform based upon your experience and training?  If the answer is "No", then as a manager I have to decide if more training is necessary.  A "Yes" means you keep your job.  A "Hell Yes!" means you get promoted.  A "No" too many times escorts you out the door.

Then, much lower on the criteria scale (usually used when you have two people vying for one promotion) are all the other factors, assuming work product is equal:  do they put in additional time at work, do they volunteer for responsibility outside their normal job description, do they get along well with everyone or do they cause trouble with their coworkers, do they leave their computer screen on when I come into the room or do they instantly click out of whatever they were doing, do they propose new ideas to help us do things better?  Again, these factors are only important if you have two people who are equal in meeting/exceeding expectations on work product.

I think this is what participation trophy kids have trouble understanding.  People are not equal in their performance.  Whether it is natural born talent, a strong work ethic, an understanding of what is important and what is not, being in the right position for your talents - these things all affect a person's performance.  In addition, not everyone begins at the same starting line.  Some have education that pertains to their career, some have more experience.  Some are  hired simply because they are smart and show a lot of promise, but then have to work harder to make up for their lack of previous training. 

The good thing is, all businesses want their employees to be successful.  Successful employees are happy employees who produce, which increases business success for the company and usually results in long-term employees who get promoted.  That is a win-win situation.  So companies are more than willing to invest in training, mentoring and helping those employees who show a willingness to earn their own success.

As Adam Corolla stated, participation trophies have made kids ill prepared for the real world.  Ben was mad at us for not signing him up for soccer last summer, but it gave us an opportunity to teach him what type of commitment is expected on a sports team - and he has promised to show us during baseball season that he can work hard and stay focused.  As he gets older, this will be a life lesson that he can apply towards work habits as well.

We need to teach our kids that participation doesn't win anything.  Hard work alone doesn't earn anything.  Hard work that results in exceptional work products - THAT wins the trophy every time. 

Advent Calendars Freak Me Out

As if the holidays weren't stressful enough.  Christmas parties, gift exchanges, planning for Christmas dinner for 25 people, buying gifts for my family and friends, taking the kids to see Santa. . . fitting all this into an already hectic schedule is almost impossible!

And then, the Advent Calendar hangs there on the wall - like a constant reminder that I am behind schedule.  Counting down the days while my stress level goes up!

24 DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS

Me:  Oh boy, it's Christmas Season!

23 DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS

Me:  Wow, one day goes by quickly and I didn't do ANYTHING to prepare for Christmas!

I have 22 days left.  This year I am NOT going to let that Advent Calendar have the best of me, mocking me that time is running out!