It's Still Work

Quite often I have after-hours work events that take me away from my family.  I'm sure in Darrin's mind these are fun times where I hang out with friends, have drinks and maybe talk a little about work.  Tonight I decided to bring him with me to one of these mixers.  I figured one of two things would happen: 

a) he'd love it and want to join me all the time, which would be great or

b) he'd hate it and see that these types of events aren't all they're cracked up to be. 

The event was a good one, lots of folks from our industry.  I thought it was a productive night visiting friends, clients, contacts from other trades, meeting some new people, too.  Darrin, well, other than visiting with the two or three people that we've actually become friends with over the last year or two, he didn't think it was all that exciting. 

The good news is that since we had a sitter for the night, we spent two hours at the event and then stole away for a fabulous dinner at Spataro.  Prosciutto with pears, beet salad for Darrin and romaine salad for me, and a shared mushroom pizza.  Fantastic! 

I think if I bring my hubby to a few more events and he gets to know people, he may actually start to enjoy himself.  Or he may prefer to stay home and eat mac and cheese with the kids.  Only time will tell.

What Can Brown Do For You

Today my Uncle Ace retired from UPS after 38 years of driving and delivering packages.  To celebrate, those who love him most gathered along the street with signs and balloons to welcome him into the UPS yard at the close of his last work day.  And then we took him out for a drink!

My uncle is one of those people who just makes you happy every time you get to visit with him.  His charm and laughter are infectious and incredibly sincere.  You can tell he's a quality character by how little kids flock to him.  Heck, I still flock to him too.  I couldn't love my uncle more. 

Congrats Uncle Ace - you've earned this day! 

Still Recovering

Darrin and I spent the weekend in Vegas, and I'm still feeling it.  Somehow about a month ago we secured tickets to see Garth Brooks at the Wynn.  So we begged my parents to take our kids for the weekend and we made plans to meet up with our friends and their wives who would also be in Sin City that same weekend. 

Because ConExpo was in town (what, you've never heard of Construction Expo?) Vegas was packed.  But we found good deals to stay at the Wynn and it was worth the price - what a beautiful hotel.  Hands down my favorite part was the oversized bathtub for two.  The bed was very comfortable and the pool was amazing (and heated).  Our friends Eric & Jen were also staying there that weekend and the place was so big that we actually had to coordinate to meet up.  I can't say much about the casino because we didn't gamble.  I know, we're crazy like that.

Garth Brooks was everything I had heard - funny, incredible, entertaining.  Because he's been away so long, I have to admit I forgot just how truly great he is.  But as soon as he started singing it instantly took me back to listening to his music through the 90's.  The show is expensive for sure, but if you are any kind of country fan, it's money well spent. 

And oh, how we ate!  Thursday night we took a client to a steak house, Botero.  I actually ordered fish and it was delicious.  But the best part was the S'Mores Donut desert I ordered.  Homemade marshmallows covered in a sugary donut exterior, with vanilla and chocolate dipping sauces.  On Friday night Darrin and I went to Wing Lei, an Asian restaurant in the Wynn that did not disappoint.  On Saturday, we took our great friends Petr and Igor, and their wives, Dina and Irena, to Mastro's Ocean Club.  Absolutely the best sea bass that Darrin and I have ever had.  We also had their made-to-order seafood tower to start our night.  And their signature dessert is a warm gooey cake.  It was truly unlike any cake I have ever eaten - and I've vowed to find a recipe. 

Then there was the club scene.  Friday after the concert we met Petr, Igor and their ladies at Moon, a nightclub at the Palms.  This is such a fun place that I have no recollection of leaving it that night.  The next day, as I laid in the fetal position in our hotel room for most of the daylight hours, I tried to remember just what it was that could have made me so sick.  The wine with dinner, champagne at the concert, the two vodka cranberries while we waited for our friends at the bar, the Red Washington Apple that Petr ordered for me (who drinks that?!?), or the double vodka shots (multiple) that we had at the club?  Anywho, I vowed to not drink Vodka with my Russian friends anymore, and by Saturday evening I was ready to hit the town again.

This time after dinner we went to Chateau, the new club at the Paris.  What a beautiful club.  We were lucky enough to be with one of the owners at a reserved table on the outdoor patio.  The inside of the club was so jammed full of people that you literally could not move.  So we stayed outside where a separate DJ played just for us (and several hundred other people), people danced all night long, and my feet finally gave out in my 4" heels sometime around 2am. 

This trip totally exhausted us, but Darrin and I always have a great time together.  Even with our wasted Saturday thanks to my inability to keep up drinking with Russian men, we wouldn't have changed a thing about our trip.  Having downtime together with no chores, no obligations, no researching menu items for something our family can eat - it was a blessing.  And it made us all the more happy to pick up our babies on Sunday and smother them with hugs and kisses. 

It Doesn't Really Make Sense

I'm having one of those overwhelming days (weeks) where I feel like I have way too much to do and not nearly enough time to do it.  I'm completely overloaded at work - piles of paperwork screaming at me but too many fire drills to deal with the paper.  I haven't worked out in a week and I'm not only feeling guilty about it, I'm also feeling the results.  We have been really bad about vision therapy the last couple of weeks, so the need to get that back into our routine is constantly nagging me.  I have laundry to do since we weren't home over the weekend.  UGH! 

So, rather than work on any of those things, I do what any normal person would do. . . . organize my home office.  I am still up, three hours after my family went to bed, so I can organize my 401k statements, life insurance policies, Ben's paperwork from Kindergarten and 1st Grade, Lia's artwork, pay bills, file receipts.  All the REALLY important stuff. 

Yeah, I'm exhausted, but I have to say at least one part of my life now feels in order. 

Preparing For Relaxation Is Hard Work

Today I am leaving the stormy weather of Sacramento to hit Las Vegas.  I'm going for work, but my husband is joining me and we have a lot of plans for the weekend:  eat well, party hard, rest all day, repeat.  We've even got tickets to the Garth Brooks show.  We've been looking forward to this weekend for a while now. 

But a mom can't just leave that easily can she?  First I had to do the laundry, pack for myself and the kids (they are staying at Nonno and Grandma's), make sure the pets are fed and watered (my brother is house sitting, but can't always be relied upon to feed the animals - "I'm not gonna lie, I forgot you had a cat."), prep food to take for the kids (bread, yogurt, cookies, pack crackers, peanut butter, syrup), drop everything off, swing by work, and get myself to the airport. 

But now I am here at the gate, about to board my flight.  Besides this weather, I have no care in the world and I can't wait to relax and enjoy some downtime with my hubby and some great friends.

Las Vegas, are you ready for me?

Hazy Memory Little Credit

Prior to Christmas this past December we talked quite a bit about how to handle opening a present you don't like.  We discussed that all you have to do is say, "Thank you so much for giving me a present" - no need to pretend you like it, but you certainly don't let on that you hate it.  On Christmas Eve morning, my Dad and Carrie came over to give the kids their gifts.  To Lia, they gave a large wrapped present.  She opened it, and found it was a full size mailbox with her name on it.  She looked at my parents and said "Thank you so much for giving me a present". 

Little did she know, that was only the intro to her real present.  You see, my parents had ordered a playhouse kit online so that Lia would have her very own playhouse in our backyard.  The kit supposedly came with all the pieces which the website said would take two people 4 to 8 hours.  The catch was that my husband got to put it together.  The kit arrived on a shrink-wrapped pallet.  We stripped the wrap and started assembling.  My job was to read the directions (cross referencing two different sets of directions) and Darrin put the things together.  That first night we got the floor boards built. 

A week later, several trips to the hardware store to buy missing screws, boards, roof shingles, drain spouts, etc., Darrin finished the project.  (I only helped that first night.)  We tried to hide it from Lia, but really, how do you hide a playhouse?!?  When she saw it I told her that Daddy was building a new chicken coop. 

On Christmas Eve morning, after opening her mailbox and wondering what in the world Nonno and Grandma were thinking, they walked Lia out to her new playhouse and explained that it was hers.  Ben exclaimed "I knew it was too pretty to be a chicken coop!".  Lia was very excited and that very day both kids started moving toys into the little house.  Lia and I made a list of the things she needed to make it comfortable, and I took her to Target to purchase them.  Darrin hung a light with a pull chain, using an extension cord for now until Uncle Leo can wire up a real light.  The girl loves her house.

Tonight my parents came over for dinner, and Lia asked my dad if she could take him out to her playhouse to show him all her stuff.  When they got out there, the light didn't work.  My dad asked her why and she said, "My Daddy probably forgot to put batteries in it".  Then my dad asked her, "Lia, do you remember who got this playhouse for you?"  And she said "My Daddy".  Her Nonno said "No Lia, Grandma and I got it for you but Daddy put it together - we got it for you for Christmas". 

And that little girl looked into her Nonno's eyes and said "No, Nonno - you got me a mailbox!"

Building A People Mover

One of the coolest jobs we've built this year was the Automatic People Mover for the new airport expansion at Sacramento International Airport.  Our crews have been installing the electric track, insanely expensive equipment and associated components of the tram system.  We've never done a job like this before, but we had a top notch crew who quickly figured out how to build this productively. 

Thursday was the big day to set the rail cars.  These cars cost $4,000,000 each.  They will take you on a 50 second ride from the main terminal hub out to the new Terminal B.  The airport made a big media event out of the day, so there were camera crews and reporters watching us the whole time.  Our crew didn't sweat it, and the guys seamlessly rigged, hoisted and set the cars on the new tracks. 

When we were first awarded this job, there were several who doubted that things would go this smoothly.  For one thing, our project was the connection between the main hub, being built by one construction team, and Terminal B, being built by a separate construction team. Coordinating with each side required a lot of patience and persistence.  Additionally, the electrical contractor building the main hub is union and we are non-union - so many thought our project would have a series of mishaps and labor strife caused by the International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers (IBEW - the electrical union) because they didn't want to work side by side with a non-union contractor.  We assured the airport and our customer, Bombardier (the manufacturer of the People Mover), that they would have no problems from us, and we started our project.

We have heard nothing but compliments since we began work.  Superintendents from the other projects repeatedly complimented the work our guys performed, inspectors made the other electrical contractors replace some of their work and "make it look like Royal's".  Our customer has thanked us time and time again for delivering their project on time, despite many obstacles.  And the Bombardier crew who helps set rail cars on projects all over the world, told us that Thursday's work was the "smoothest this has gone on any project so far".  I couldn't be more proud of our entire project team. 

I'm also especially proud of my brother, who did an excellent job as a 2nd year electrical apprentice on this project.  I am so happy that he was able to be a part of such a unique and exciting build. 

Twenty Years Gone

Twenty years ago today, my Nonno passed away.  I can't believe it has been that long.  I was a freshman in high school, which means my sister was four and my brother was two.  They hardly knew him.  But I have some very vivid memories of my grandfather - visiting him at work and playing with the toys he kept there just for us grandkids, playing with his 8-track tapes in his converted garage bar room, eating "rotten cheese" with him on his back patio or grapefruit for breakfast.  I remember hugs with my Nonno, funny how that sticks with me.  Maybe it was his distinctive aftershave.

My Nonno started his electrical contracting company back in 1961 out of his garage, although it had a different name then.  It wasn't until 1971 that our name was chosen, so this year celebrates our 40th anniversary as Royal Electric Company.  Nonno wasn't necessarily known for his business savvy, he was known for his big heart - the person who was always willing to help the down and out.  He would drive my dad crazy when they were partners, my Nonno with his conservative nature and my dad the young risk taker.  I can't imagine how lonely it felt for my dad in 1991 when suddenly the company was his sole responsibility, and his conservative sounding board was gone. 

My Nonno didn't believe that construction was a stable industry for women to work, so he steered his daughters away from working at Royal.  I don't know if my future would have turned out different if he were still here today.  Would my progressive dad have convinced Nonno that I had a place in management?  I'd like to think that my Nonno would have been proud of the work I am doing, even if I do wear a skirt and heels. 

Cancer takes many lives long before we are ready.  When he died, I thought my grandpa was pretty old.  He was 56.  I realize now how young that is!  I wonder if our family would be different if he were still around, and I wish that my brother and I could have had the opportunity to work as the third generation of Royal, side by side with the first and second.  Instead, we will proudly carry on the name he gave his company forty years ago and continue his legacy for more generations to come.

Love In A Note

I show my love for my family in so many different ways.  Sometimes I think my family believes that a little gnome runs around the house at night and restocks toilet paper, hangs up towels, puts away toys and shoes, makes lunches, preps cookie dough, and puts away the laundry.  These are thankless jobs and I don't do it for the accolades, I do it to show my family that I love them. 


Last night Ben reminded me that just because I do these things to show them love, it's not necessarily how they receive love.  Ben had been politely hinting for a few weeks that he really would like a note in his lunch.  In the morning rush I kept forgetting to comply.  So while Darrin was tucking him into bed last night, Ben told his Daddy that he wanted me to put a note in his lunch the next day.  And he wanted me to put a note in his room, telling him that I put a note in his lunch.  Okay Ben, I get the message! 

So this morning after getting up at 5am, working out, having breakfast and getting myself ready for work, I wrote two love notes to my beautiful six year old baby boy.  It took me five minutes at the most.  I hung one up in the hallway so he would see it after exiting his room, and the other in his lunch.  When he woke up in the morning and remembered his request, he popped out of bed and started searching for the first note.  The grin when he saw that one would have been worth an extra hour of work!  What an easy way for me to tell my son that I loved him, in a language that he could hear. 

Sugar Cookies

The kids have really been into helping me cook lately.  It mostly has to do with getting to lick the spoons, but they actually have a recent genuine interest in the cooking part too. 
Last week I bought each of them their own apron and cookie cutters - Star Wars for Ben, and Easter bunnies and flowers for Lia.  The kids each were given jobs, Ben to measure the dry ingredients (which resulted in flour all over the floor) and Lia to work the mixer. 

Once the dough was ready I rolled it out and they each got to use their cookie cutters to make various shapes.  Lia's kit came with decorator rollers and stamps too, so even Darth Vader had some flowers added to him.  The kids did a great job and the cookies turned out wonderful. 

Here's the recipe I used:

Sugar Cookies

2-1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 tsp salt

1-1/2 sticks unsalted butter, room temp

1 cup sugar

1 egg, room temp

1-1/2 tsp vanilla extract

In a small bowl, sift together flour and salt.  Set aside.  In the bowl of an electric mixer, beat the butter on high speed until creamy, about 2 minutes.  Reduce the speed to medium, slowly add sugar and beat until light and fluffy, about 2 minutes, stopping the mixer occasionally to scrape down the sides of the bowl.  Add the egg and vanilla and beat for 1 minute. 

Stop the mixer and add half the flour mixture.  Beat on low speed until most of the flour has been absorbed, about 1 minute.  Add the remaining flour and continue beating until all of the flour has been absorbed and the dough starts to pull away from the sides of the bowl, 2 to 3 minutes.

Turn the dough out onto a work surface and divide into two equal balls.  Shape each into a disk and wrap separately in plastic wrap.  Refrigerate for at least two hours or up to 2 days.  Remove the dough from the refrigerator and let stand for 10 minutes.  On a lightly floured surface, roll out the dough to about 1/4 inch thick.  Preheat oven to 350 degrees. 

Cut out shapes with cookie cutters.  Using a spatula, transfer the cookies to the baking sheets, spacing the cookies about 1 inch apart (you may want to line your baking sheet with parchment paper, but I didn't).  Reroll the scraps and cut out more cookies.  Bake the cookies until golden brown around the edges 7-10 minutes.  Let cookies cool on baking sheet for 5 minutes then transfer to a wire rack to let cool completely.  Makes about 20 cookies.

(I only made a few cookies and then kept the remainder of the dough in the refrigerator.  Each morning before school I would roll out and bake two or three cookies for Ben's lunch.  Yum!)

Jumping To Conclusions

Whenever Ben has a bad day, getting in trouble and such, I quickly jump to the conclusion that he has eaten something to cause the reaction.  I don't know if I will ever lose that instinct.  I analyze everything I know he's eaten, trying to determine patterns of foods that may have caused the behavior.  Then I start slyly quizzing him to see if he will admit to eating anything bad.  (I can usually tell if he's telling the truth or not.)  If those ideas come up empty I may consider the fact that he's a six year old boy and this is what they do sometimes, but nah - it has to be the food.  And in my defense, for the last year, it really has been the food.

But yesterday, an evening that I went straight from work to a client dinner and didn't get to see my family, I jumped to the wrong conclusion.  Talking on my blue tooth to Darrin while I drove to dinner, he told me that Ben had gotten in some serious trouble at Miss P's (his daycare) for inappropriate potty talk.  Like, REALLY inappropriate.  I was embarrassed and shocked at the same time because he doesn't talk like this at home.  (I'm probably making it sound worse than it is - there were no bad words or age-inappropriate phrasing - just butt/poop/stinky type stuff.)  Instantly I start quizzing Darrin:  Did you ask him if he ate anything, did he eat his lunch, does he seem to be reacting?  Darrin told me to relax, it was just a boy thing.  As a consequence, Darrin had Ben write three pages of sentences, which is like torture for Ben. 

This morning I questioned Ben about the sentences and he shamefully told me that he was using potty talk at Miss P's and got in trouble.  I explained to both my children that if I heard anyone say potty talk it would be instant time out.  When we got to Miss P's, I had Ben go to her, apologize, and promise not to do it again.  I could tell by his body language that he was very embarrassed and remorseful.  At that point I knew that this was a six year old boy thing and NOT a food reaction at all. 

The difference is that when Ben is reacting, there is no remorse, no shame and no consequence that even puts a pause in the bad behavior.  The only thing that works to correct behavior in a reaction is to remove him from the situation.  But even when he calms down, he still has a distorted view of reality and things are always someone else's fault.  On the contrary, when Ben is not reacting, he can analyze his own behavior, draw conclusions himself, and feel the pain of a consequence.  He also feels truly sorry.  Getting back in the car to head over to school, I explained to Ben that we didn't need to discuss this episode anymore, that he had made a mistake and that was okay - because we learn from our mistakes. 

What I learned was that maybe we are really through the dark time in our lives, and I need to get to know this little boy that I can now see through all the clutter.  He is a sensitive, caring, lovable boy who only wants to please people - even if making his friends laugh gets him into trouble.  I am so filled with gratitude that because the clutter is gone, Ben can now learn from these lessons as he gets older, and hopefully doesn't make the same ones twice. 

When It Isn't Raining

We've enjoyed some nice weather this week which means we've gotten the kids outside.  It gets dark within 30 minutes of going out in the evening, so we are looking forward to daylight savings time this weekend.  However it was nice to not have to dodge raindrops for a while. 

Circle of Trust

This weekend I got to see each one of my best friends.  Lunch with Morgan on Friday before she headed back to Arizona, Sarah and Jeff here for the weekend, and Kate and Shawna with their families joining us for a Saturday night party.  What a lucky gal I am to have such amazing friends.  And watching Lia and Ella blossom into besties makes me just as happy.  If there's one thing I learned growing up it's that it is much easier to stay besties with your childhood friend if your parents also enjoy hanging around each other.  It's also handy to wear the same size dress so you can swap at a party. 

Marco Man

This is Marco, the three year old son of my best friend Sarah.  I love this little man, and one of the most precious moments of my life was being by his parents' side as he was brought into this world.  You can tell that Marco is going to be an individual and stand out in the crowd, and not because he likes to wear Sarah's earrings.  With his mommy's gene pool this little boy is destined to be the life of the party. 

A Gathering Of Friends

Spur of the moment, we decided to invite our friends over.  There is nothing like spending a Saturday night with the friends who know you best and still love you.  Even with all the dishes in the kitchen and toys scattered about, it is not work to host the people you love. 

May I Brag A Little?

So after two weeks of complete hell with Ben's behavior from eating contraband foods I had thought we finally had a breakthrough last Sunday (see here) and boy was I right.  This week Ben worked really hard to not eat bad food.  Two days this week he brought home contraband food his friends gave him so he could exchange it for $1 as I promised him. 

Ladies and Gents, I have to tell you that this week at home was AWESOME!!  On Thursday night I gave Ben a big hug and said "Ben, do you realize that you and I have not argued one time this week!?!"  He gave me a big giant grin.  Homework was a breeze this week, there were no meltdowns during vision therapy, he was able to play video games and air hockey without losing his mind when he lost, he frequently did nice things for his sister, and he was just generally great to be around. He also told me that he had no cards pulled this week. 

And then yesterday, he even achieved the coveted Super Star Student Award in Mr. H's first grade class.  Ok, I admit I cried again when I found out.  So Ben got to pick our dinner for the night (homemade pizza) and Darrin and I took Ben and Lia to Toys R Us to celebrate.  Each of them had a $25 gift card left over from Christmas, and Darrin and I told Ben that because he had worked so hard this week and was such a joy to be around, in addition to earning Super Star Student, we matched that $25.  You should have seen Ben's eyes pop out of his head when he heard he had $50 to spend at Toys R Us! 

His choice:  The Imaginext Toy Story 3 Landfill.  Right now it's filled with the Toy Story Characters, Lego men, army guys and maybe even a princess or two.  He's in heaven - and so am I. 

Pre-Kinder

Today was the first of four one-hour sessions of pre-kindergarten for Lia.  She has been so excited and counting down the days for a week!  She picked out her own clothes for today and told me she wanted to sit by Ella.  From what I can tell, in class they played with blocks, sang the ABC's and Days Of The Week, colored some shapes and listened to the teacher read a story. 

I can't believe how easy it is sending her to school.  I have no anxiety at all about it, even though she's a late birthday.  This girl is SO ready for kindergarten and it won't come soon enough for her. 

At the end of the hour she walked out of the classroom towards me and said "Mommy, I didn't get ANY cards pulled!"  I guess she's caught on to the important measurement in our household.

Here are some pictures of Lia's big "day" at pre-kinder:

An Amazing Surprise

At the end of every month Mr. H sends an email to all the 1st grade parents to applaud the children who didn't get any cards pulled that month.  It's like torture every month for a couple of reasons.  First, he puts "Behavior" in the subject line.  Being a parent of a child who is frequently in trouble and getting an email entitled "Behavior" makes my heart drop.  Then I open the email and realize it isn't about my kid, but it's about all the kids who had no trouble at all.  Oh, isn't that just swell.  And it's the same kids month after month. 

Today when I got the email I seriously almost sent a reply that said "Unsubscribe". 

HOWEVER . . . no, Ben's name wasn't on the email.  BUT. . . . Ben did bring home his monthly list of pulled cards.  Here is what I am used to seeing (this is August through January, and only the green cards - but yes, he pulled yellow and even one red before).  My favorite is 1/11/11 for "Jumping in front of overhead lights".  Yup, that's Ben.

And here is what I found when I looked at Ben's card this month:

And I just need to say, on February 7th, there was a substitute teacher.  Isn't some bad behavior expected?

Seriously though folks, my eyes watered when I saw this card.  I was more proud of that kid in that moment than I have been for many other things.  He worked very hard to have such a "clean" card.

In other great news, Ben brought me a contraband cookie today that he got from a friend at school!  Not only did I give him a dollar for that according to our deal, I gave him some extra dollars to reward him for his behavior in school this last month.  We are making progress, people.  We are making progress.