Writing His Memoirs

"Now that I am a grown man, I can think back on my childhood with little bias.  Some have said that my time growing up was too restrictive - I could only play video games for twenty minutes, my parents regulated every piece of food I ate, my mother was relentless at making me learn those spelling words.  Yet while I truly did resent missing out on the red ropes in first grade and having to do without my beloved fruit snacks, I realize now that my parents did it out of love.  I would not be the man I am today without their influence.  And I am grateful for that, although I do still sneak a red rope now and then just to spite them."
- Ben K, Food Critic, Age 37

Strike A Pose, There's Nothing To It

I know these are rather old, since they are from Christmas Day, but I love this series of pictures of Lia and my cousin Kelley's son, Noah, taken by my sister.  If only I could get Ben and Lia to pose like this for me!

Happy Birthday, Pops

Today is my dad's 58th birthday.  He celebrated by taking us all out to dinner.  Dad is one of the most generous people I have ever known, besides being my mentor and the source of my self confidence.  He believes in me and has always told me, "Kid, you have to see yourself there to get there." 

My dad had a close call this year.  Testa Dura that he was (Italian for "Hard Head") he kept his health issues a secret from us for over a month, until he finally ended up in the hospital.  A couple tweaks later and my dad is a new man - or more importantly, back to being the energetic dad we know and love. 

Dad, I love you, and I want you to know that I see a scene for you many years from now, sitting in a garden eating orange slices with your great grandchildren.  And since I visualize it, I know that it will happen.  You said.

Sweet Revenge

Today Ben got in trouble at school.  Apparently one of the little girls in his first grade class got sick, and threw up in the classroom.  As she left the room to go to the office Ben yelled out, "Get better soon, cause your butt STINKS!".  As a result of his inappropriateness he is losing out on recess and various other first grade perks. 

But that little girl had the last laugh, because tonight Ben is sick in bed with the stomach flu.  I think I'll send her a note that says "Don't worry, Ben's butt stinks, too!"

Bestie Ballerinas

Isn't that what best friends are for?  Trying out a new dance class together? 

Shawna (my bestie) and I decided to enroll our girls in their first ballet/tap class.  Shawna and I both danced for 15+ years in our childhoods.  She chose ballet on point, I chose tap.  So it was natural for us to get our girls started early.

Of course, Lia's favorite part was the "dance class clothes" and the free-dance time at the end, where they got to dance with wands.  Lia said "I wish I had a crown and long pretend hair so I could REALLY be a princess!"  Ella put her leotard on at 8:30 in the morning - dance class wasn't until 4:30 in the afternoon.  I'd say our girls were excited.

And they loved it!  Several times during class either Shawna or I would notice our own feet moving as we willed our daughters to perform the steps correctly.  I think next time we'll have to sit outside.  Here are some picts of our girls having a blast together. 

And just for fun, check out these old photos my mom pulled out of an album.  Something tells me this is what Ben would look like in a leotard and tights. 

So What Can You Eat?

This is the question I get all the time when I tell someone we're on a "food program".  And typically I answer, "We can eat everything you eat, we just have to know the right brands to buy".  That's a much easier answer than launching into information about Stage 1 and Stage 2 of Feingold.  But since I have you as a captive audience, I'll give you the long version.

The Feingold Program is based upon an elimination diet composed of two Stages:

In Stage One, we eliminate all of the following from our diets:

• Synthetic (Artificial) Colors - these dyes are made from petroleum and are usually listed as "food coloring", "color added", or by Food & Drug Administration number such as "FD&C Yellow No. 5".
• Synthetic Flavors - these may be listed as "flavoring" or "artificial flavoring".  Vanillian (artificial vanilla) is the only synthetic flavoring clearly labeled by its name.
• Three Preservatives - BHA, BHT and TBHQ
• Synthetic Sweeteners - such as Aspartame (also sold as NutraSweet, Equal, Saccharine, Sweet N Low, and Sucralose/Splenda)
• Natural Salicylates - these are like naturally occurring "pesticides" that many kids can't tolerate in large, or even small doses, and are found in several fruits, vegetables and nuts.
• Aspirin is also eliminated in Stage One.

In Stage Two, you carefully reintroduce the salicylate items listed above.  Many children respond favorably to these natural items, but many can never have them back into their diet at all.  Most children fall somewhere between the two, such as Ben, in that he can have Stage Two items sometimes, but not every day.  They actually can cause a "buildup reaction" that mirrors reactions from artificials and preservatives.

The Feingold Association issues a yearly Foodlist and Shopping Guide (which you can get as part of the Program Materials) that lists thousands of foods that have been researched and determined safe for Feingold (FG) families.  One thing I have learned is that you can't rely solely on food labels.  Things such as "natural flavors" can mean very unnatural things, food companies use preservatives in things like pan spray for bread (but since it's not an actual ingredient of the bread it doesn't have to be listed), or there are quantities of ingredients that are so small they don't have to be listed, but can cause reactions.  Every year a FG Team researches new foods and new brands (and current brands in case they change ingredients) to ever expand the shopping list.  They even customize it geographically since some brands may use different ingredients depending on where the product is sold. 

It is very overwhelming to start the FG program.  My first shopping trip at Whole Foods took me almost three hours.  I had to look up every single product on the list.  Over time, I have found most of our day to day foods in our local Bel Air, supplemented by trips to Henry's Market and my bimonthly visit to Whole Foods.  I have also started making many things from scratch to save money and trips to specialty stores.  Now I only find shopping overwhelming if I'm in a store that I don't usually shop in.  And I carry my Food List & Shopping Guide in my purse at all times - you never know when you might need to check a brand! 

These days there are all natural versions of everything we eat.  Crackers, cookies, candy, snacks, chicken nuggets, etc., can all be found in a safe brand.  The hardest things to eliminate for us have been the salicylate items.  Right now in Stage One we can't have apples, oranges, grapes, or any kind of berry.  But we can have pears, bananas, pineapple, any kind of melon, and more.

Once you are Stage One for at least 4 to 6 weeks, when you are sure detox is over (yes, detox, doesn't that make you feel good about artificial ingredients?!?), you start looking for items you can add back in or still need to take out.  We've found we can add back in tomatoes once in a while, but we had to take out several Stage One items that we call "triggers", such as:  nitrates (found in bacon and lunchmeat), annatto (the natural coloring that makes cheese orange), too much mango, and approved vanilla yogurt because it contains some salicylates.  No worries, we found if we buy bacon from a local butcher shop, it has no added nitrates.  And we can eat white cheese all the time, so I've found white cheddar and buy it in bulk.  I started making my own yogurt that doesn't have salicylates.  Like I said, there's an approved version of everything.

But the thing Ben misses most are his beloved fruit snacks.  The kid would eat two packs a day before FG.  Yes, there is an approved version, Annies Bunny Fruit Snacks, but they all contain Stage Two fruits, so we can't eat them very often.  On more than a few occasions, he's given in to the temptation of the contraband fruit snacks, usually given to him by a friend at school.  And we get to deal with the behavior reaction because of it.  No matter how hard I try to divert his attention with other tasty treats, I haven't yet found a substitute for those darn fruit snacks!

Today I actually tried making my own gummy fruit snacks.  They turned out the perfect consistency, but the flavor just isn't quite there yet.  I used pomegranate juice, lime juice, lemonade, and pear juice.  The lime was disgusting, the pear okay, the lemonade a little boring and the pomegranate was just weird.  I will have to experiment again to figure out how to sweeten them up.  Perhaps mixtures of approved Stage One juices?  Anyway, at least I also made Chocolate Crinkle Cookies and Black Bottom Cupcakes (again from this cookbook), so the Kimbles won't suffer without our sweets!  Anybody want recipes?

Ode To My Husband

Today Darrin took it upon himself to ensure that I would never again have to change a poopy diaper, never have to get up for a 2am feeding, never have to lose 10 pounds of baby weight, and never have to take a stupid pill for the rest of my life. He's spending the weekend on the couch, with vicodin, beer, the remote control, snacks and a blankie.  It would be every man's dream if not for the bag of frozen peas.

This was a tough decision for us.  We've talked a lot about having a third child but have just never felt like a third kiddo would fit into our busy lives - that if one of us were home full time we would do it.  But we both work and have busy schedules, and so we finally made the decision that two kids is enough for us.  And yet walking into that doctor's office today it really felt final.  If not for Darrin's steely determination (or was that panic?) I may have talked him into postponing. 

And as I reflect on things tonight, after kissing my babies goodnight, folding laundry, doing dishes, making cupcakes for a birthday party tomorrow, going through Ben's school work, putting away Lia's princess toys, and finally taking a moment to myself at 10:30 at night, I know we made the right decision.  So, in order to honor my husband for the incredible, selfless thing he did today, I dedicate tonight's blog to him. 

10 Reasons I Love My Husband (in no particular order)

1. My husband is McGuyver.  I first realized this when we went camping in Summer of 2001 and I completely forgot any cooking utensils, including pots and pans.  Darrin fashioned a skillet out of tinfoil, a CD case into a spatula and made fried eggs for breakfast.  Seriously, I never worry about ANYTHING when I'm with him.  I know he could get us out of any situation with chewing gum, a rope and a flashlight.  But he doesn't eat bugs like Bear Grylls, and I like that.
2. My husband didn't originally hit on me until I was single.  Even though we were friends for a long time, he waited until I was out of a relationship to start ours.  I later realized we had fallen for each other long before that, but I think it says something about him that he didn't intentionally interfere with someone else's girl.  He waited at least a week.
3. Without anyone telling him to, my husband asked my dad for permission before he proposed to me.  Anyone who knows my dad, knows how intimidating he can be.  But Darrin drove to our work, sat across the desk from my dad, the president of the company, and asked if he could marry me.  That takes guts and an old fashioned respect and I love that.
4. My husband is all man.  He hunts, fishes, burps, wrestles with the kids, teaches them how to pick up snakes and frogs, gives Ben man chores as he gets older and ready for man chores, plays baseball with the kids and fixes their bikes when they break.  He can build a fire with a couple of sticks and a rock, barbecue the socks off anything, do his own oil changes or other mechanic work and edge a mean lawn.  He stinks sometimes from all this man stuff, but I find it sexy.  And I make him shower.
5. My husband can make me laugh like no one else in the world.  Even though I know him better than anyone else, he still surprises me with his understated and unexpected humor.  I love nothing more than to see him catch an audience off guard and crack up and I think, that's my man.
6. My husband can build things.  When we first started dating and drove around town he would show me every water line he had installed in the city.  Thank God he has built more exciting things in the past ten years.  Now we show our kids the traffic operations systems he's installed, the underground utility systems at buildings around town, the fiber loops and street lights, manholes and cloud vessels.  What, that doesn't excite you?
7. My husband tells me when I'm being ridiculous.  Some of you might think I'm a little pushy.  I have no idea how that rumor got started.  But no matter how adamant I am about something, Darrin pushes back when he disagrees.  And usually when he puts his foot down, I realize he's right and I give in.  Thank goodness this only happens 5% of the time.
8. My husband is a chicken farmer.  He has nursed those chickens from three days old, keeps them warm with a heat lamp in the winter, remodels their coop to make them happy, and keeps them producing an egg a day.  You should see how proud he is when we get a double-yoker.  You'd think he laid that egg himself.   

9. My husband loves family.  He is an excellent father, even though he made me get up at night with the babies (something about him having to operate heavy construction equipment the next day - lame excuse and I'm still bitter).  My kids are lost without him.  He remembers much better than I do to have fun with them, play with them, chase them and tickle them.  He takes really good care of them when I'm away.  He is patient, but a firm disciplinarian.  He is steady and consistent.  Above all, he hugs them and tells the kids he loves them.
10. My husband makes me a better me.  Darrin encourages me to be my best and put forth my best effort, even if it takes me away from our family at times.  He is my number one fan and the only person who really knows the true me.  He communicates with me but knows how I feel without having to say anything.  He is my soul mate and the one that God intended me to be with.  I will grow old with this man because we share the same dreams.  I thank God every day for bringing Darrin into my life and I promise to cherish him for everything that he is.

If this post doesn't get me out of dishes this week, I don't know what will.  Oh wait, I have to go get Darrin another bag of frozen peas. . . .

No One Before You

About a year ago my parents gave me back an old collage picture frame I had put together in high school that had been at their house ever since.  It's mostly pictures of family and friends, and one senior prom picture of me with my then boyfriend.  I stuffed this frame behind a door in the office at our house - didn't really know what else to do with it.  Darrin asked me multiple times to get rid of it or at least change that prom picture out, but I always forgot to do it.  So Darrin took care of it himself, and here's what I found.  I think I must have laughed for five minutes solid.

This One's For Mrs. Martin

The conversation around our dinner table last night:

Ben:  "Mom, what's for dessert?"

Me:  "We don't really have anything."

Ben:  "Then you should probably just make some cookies."

Me:  (Thinking, wow, I've already spoiled them with homemade baked goods.)  "What kind?"

Ben, Lia & Darrin:  "PEANUT BUTTER!!!"

And so I present to you:   THE. BEST. PEANUT. BUTTER. COOKIE. EVER.  It is a recipe from my favorite cookbook right now, The Complete Magnolia Bakery Cookbook, which was also a Christmas present from my mom.  These cookies rock.

Peanut Butter Cookies

1-1/4 cups all-purpose flour

3/4 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp salt

1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened

1 cup peanut butter

3/4 cup sugar

1/2 cup packed light brown sugar

1 large egg, at room temperature

1 tablespoon milk

1 tsp vanilla extract

Optional:  1 cup peanut butter chips or chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  In a large bowl, combine the flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt.  Set aside.   In another large bowl (or mixer bowl) beat the butter and peanut butter together until fluffy.  Add the sugars and beat until smooth.  Add the egg and mix well.  Add the milk and vanilla.  Add the flour mixture and beat thoroughly.  Stir in the peanut butter chips (or chocolate chips).  Drop by rounded teaspoonfuls onto cookie sheets, leaving several inches between for expansion.  Using a fork, lightly indent with a criscross pattern, but do not overly flatten cookies.  Lightly sprinkle cookies with sugar.  Bake for 10-12 minutes.  Do not overbake.  Cookies may appear to be underdone, but they are not.  Cool on the cookie sheets for 1 minute then remove to a rack to cool completely.  Makes 2-3 dozen cookies. 

A little tip I learned:  If your cookies are getting too flat when you bake them, put your dough in the refrigerator for 10-15 minutes before baking, then scoop onto cookie sheet and bake.  Works like a charm!





No Face Time

At 9:15pm my sister called me from Ventura, having dinner on the boat of our very good friends.  She was telling them how great Face Time is on the IPhone 4 (think video conference) and wanted to demonstrate.  Since I've not actually used Face Time yet, I was totally excited to try it. 

And then I quickly realized that Face Time might be cool for 20-somethings like my sister, but not for a 30-something with two children.  Because anyone who is a mom knows that as soon as the phone rings, your kids think of 27 different things they need to tell you about, and you're usually listening to the caller with one ear while shooting the Mean-Mom-Face to the kids, shooing them with your free hand and doing dishes with your other hand.  Only on Face Time,  you have to try and look calm and pretty (which is awfully difficult considering it's like looking in those weird mirrors in a funhouse at the fair) and attentive to the caller. 

One try and I've already disabled THAT app from my phone. I'd much rather glare and shoo my kids in privacy. 

Don't Make Me Hold My Breath

 When you have two or more kids, and one of your children has special needs, like a disability, ADHD, health issues, behavior problems, whatever, how do you ensure that you still give enough time to your other kids?  I really struggle with this because I feel like Ben needs a lot of our attention and time - with discipline in the days before Feingold, with homework (and still some discipline) now, and just with life in general.  I often find myself wondering if Lia feels a little left out in the process.

I read this excellent book called "Children the Challenge" which was written in the 1960's I think, and has outdated parts to it (like leaving your child alone in the car while you're in the grocery store if they aren't behaving, and how women entering the workforce is one of the most influential social issues affecting children).  But I actually highly recommend it for the strategies on parenting.  It has this awesome chapter about birth order and how each child takes on a role from the time they are born, based on their birth order and the role the previous children have already claimed.  For example, if child number 1 is the scholar, then child number 2 will choose to be the athlete.  If child number 1 is the angel, child number 2 will choose to be the devil.  And this role will perpetuate and eventually become their identity.  Very interesting.

I was thinking today about my beautiful, sassy four year old daughter and how the last four years and our struggles with her brother (and our last 10 months working hard on successes) have affected her life.  I realized that very early on in her childhood, this little diva found ways to draw the attention away from her brother.  First and foremost, Lia is a breath holder.  That may sound cute, but a six month old baby who cries so hard that she suddenly turns blue and faints - that's not very cool.  Luckily the doctor explained what it was and how to stop an episode (blow quickly up her nose to make her catch her breath) so I didn't panic every time it happened, but it still freaks you out.  Every time.  She has continued this habit and has scared family and friends more than once as she starts crying, stops breathing, and faints, right there in her tracks.  Last summer she fell while riding a bike and barely skinned her knee, started crying hard and fainted, falling face first into a pine tree.  The faint caused way more damage than the original incident!  The last few months we've been teaching her to "BREATH!" while she's upset, so if you ever hear her crying and us calmly reminding her to "BREATH!", that's why. 

When she was four months old and I went back to work full time, she refused to take a bottle and would starve herself all day at daycare - which meant I had to be up with her when she woke every 2 hours at night to eat.  I did this for about three months until one day, too exhausted to even move, I told my husband that he had to help me and get up with her that night.  Instead, he suggested we make her bottle really, really warm - and that girl downed the whole thing right then.  Darrin said, "Think about it, your body is almost 100 degrees, how hot do you think your milk is?"  In exchange I hit him with a meat mallet.  Wait, maybe I imagined that part.

These days our cutie is a total hypochondriac.  Every little cut, bruise or scratch requires a band-aid.  She LOVES medicine (even the non-colored, non-flavored tylenol we had made at a compound pharmacy, blech!).  She just discovered this week that if she acts really sick at daycare, Mom gets to come pick her up.  That's nice.  We're trying not to give this stage too much attention.  I don't really want this habit to stick.

And she's also learned how to play the victim very well.  So well in fact, that I think she may be a very good soccer player when she grows up.  She knows just how to goad her brother enough to make him lash out, and then she cries like he tortured her with waterboarding.  I admit, I fell for it a few times.  She's really that good at it.

But aside from these negative attention getters, this girl has really chosen to play the role of "good child" and she fills it very easily.  She is uber sensitive to pleasing us.  So much so that when I accidentally pull out my Mean-Mom-Face that works so well with Ben, she gets big crocodile tears and says "Mom, are you mad at me?" very innocently.  Oops, forgot I'm not supposed to use that face with her!   

Lia is very sensitive about loving everyone and having them love her.  Thanks to Disney she really believes that all girls are princesses and one day they will marry their prince.  She already knows that her prince is Ben's friend, Evan, and she can't be swayed otherwise.  Lia gives the world's best cuddles, she was born blond (if she didn't have my eyes and her daddy's toes, I'd wonder. . . ), she adores kitties, she is very considerate of others, and she recently decided she hates cheese.  She only likes to wear dresses and skirts, especially big frilly skirts that "go out" when she spins.  She sings to herself all the time - right now it's all Christmas carols.  She wears my high heels and jewelry, hates to have her hair brushed or put in pony tails, can already write and even read a little at four years old, and has a very funny sense of humor.  Most importantly, I can always count on her to be my "shopping buddy" and she has stamina! 

I know one day her prince will come and ride away with her, and I will not be ready for that day.  Until then I enjoy every wonderful minute of my little princess and often find myself putting down those dishes or laundry to read her a book or play dollhouse with her.  Tonight I let my little hypochondriac (who may just happen to have an ear infection - need to get that checked out tomorrow) fall asleep in my arms.  And I thought to myself, I don't do this nearly enough.     

I See Double

About a month ago I had the dreaded parent teacher conference with Ben's teacher, Mr. H.  I feel very lucky that we got Mr. H this year.  He has been so incredibly supportive of Ben and our non-medicated remedies for his ADD. 

Wait, before I go any further, I need to clarify something.  Ben has not been officially diagnosed with ADD.  This is the subject of some debate in our household, on whether or not to actually go for it.  On one hand, it would be nice to have a diagnosis (dx) in case Ben needed special accomodations at school.  On the other hand, we are worried that an ADD dx carries a stigma that we don't want to saddle our son with.  Luckily for us, Mr. H naturally accomodates Ben so we haven't had to make a decision one way or the other.  But, I'm pretty sure if you asked Mr. H or Mrs. P (Ben's kinder teacher last year), they'd confirm my self assessed dx.  At one point both teachers told me Ben only retains about 20% of what they say in class because he simply can't hold still.  If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck . . . .

Back to the parent teacher conference.  Ben was actually doing better than I had expected.  However Mr. H was completely perplexed by Ben's results on various tests for reading.  They do a test called "Non-sensical words" which is exactly that - words that can be sounded out but are not real words.  They do this to be sure the child hasn't just memorized the look of the word and is actually reading it.  Mr. H showed me Ben's results of the same test, taken a few weeks apart.  Words he got correct the first time were wrong the second time, he was swapping letters, he was confusing b's and d's.  Mr. H told me he didn't know what to make of it and he actually couldn't use the results.  I vowed to work harder with Ben on reading and went my merry way. 

Not long ago, I was reading online and discovered something called Convergence Insufficiency (CI).  This is a disorder where a child has fine vision, but the eyes don't work together.  I ran through the checklist of symptoms and was shocked that Ben displayed most of them.  (Losing track of where he was reading, mixing b's and d's, swapping first and last letters of a word like "was" vs "saw", seeing a couple of letters in a word and guessing at the rest, getting tired while reading, not understanding or remembering what he just read, struggling with homework and spelling, poor handwriting, covering one eye while working, and many more.)  I was also shocked to learn that up to 15% of our population has CI and that children with ADD are THREE TIMES more likely to have CI than other children.  In fact, I learned that ADD and CI are often misdiagnosed, one for the other.  However, the most shocking thing to me was that CI is not tested for by optometrists or schools when giving eye exams and most teachers know nothing about it.  How is that even possible?!?

Along with CI comes other disorders like Tracking and Focus issues.  This is an awesome website that shows what children with these disorders see:  http://www.childrensvision.com/reading.htm.  From this and other websites, (specifically this one:  http://www.covd.org/) I was able to find a developmental optometrist that specializes in these disorders.  I called around to a few in our area and found one whose philosophy seemed in line with what I had learned on the internet, and we had our first appointment last week. 

Dr. H spent an hour with Ben, checking his basic vision (which is 20/15) and drilling in to what his issue was.  One quick test he gave was to have Ben follow a pen (about a foot away) with only his eyes.  Not only did Ben's eyes move in a jerky fashion, but he couldn't do it without also moving his head.  The doctor scheduled another exam - this next one will be much more in depth for the disorders rather than basic vision - for free.  But meanwhile, he prescribed glasses for Ben for any up close work such as reading, writing or computer work.  Yes, for video games too. 

What I especially found interesting was Dr. H's views on why this is happening.  He said that at this age, children are not visually developed enough to be doing the amount of reading and writing that schools impose these days.  In addition to that, Ben is developmentally delayed in his vision (Dr. H said Ben's vision is developed at about a 4 year old level right now), although he could completely grow out of that. 

The beauty of CI and other tracking disorders is that they can be fixed with vision therapy.  There are many, many testimonials online about children that go from struggling to do homework to reading 200-page novels for fun.  Dr. H doesn't think Ben needs vision therapy at this point since his eyes are still developing, but we're going to do the diagnostic exam just to pinpoint how severe Ben's CI issues are.  He said many kids Ben's age are helped simply by glasses to make the up close work a little easier until his eyes catch up. 

We picked up Ben's glasses today and he was VERY excited.  Mostly about the cool case they come in and the little cloth they give you to clean them.  Okay, whatever works!  I had Ben read me a story from his homework tonight while wearing the glasses and he did not skip one word, one line or mix up one letter.  I have no idea if this is from the glasses or if he was just more focused tonight while reading, but I'm sure time will tell.  I'm only left wondering:  with a six year old boy with ADD, just how many pairs of replacement glasses will I have to figure into my budget each year?!? 

Here's my handsome little man in his new spectacles.

Close Quarters

If you ever feel like you haven't spent enough time with your kids, go camping in weather that is really way too cold for camping.  This last weekend we wanted to get away, and took our kids to Bodega Bay in our motorhome.  We stayed at Doran's Beach Campground, which we really love.  But yikes, it was so crazy cold.  The wind must have made it 20 degrees colder than it really was. 

So aside from our 20 minutes at a time that we would spend outside, and a brief but great visit from my parents (who chose to stay at a little B&B in Sausalito rather than our motorhome), we played games (Sequence Jr. and Skip Bo are our current favorites), watched movies, cooked and just hung out.  And except for Lia coming down with a fever halfway through our trip, we really enjoyed ourselves. 

A note from Ben

Buying that motorhome three years ago has paid big dividends in our family life.  Because like everyone else, we are very busy people.  Getting away for the weekend with our kids, with no chores and no obligations, is one of the best things we can do.  And without fail, before we even pull that motorhome back in our driveway, our kids are asking where/when we are going next. 

Oh, by the way, three years ago Ben named our motorhome Lightning McQueen/Sally.  Lightning in the front, Sally in the back.  I guess that made sense to a three year old.









My Favorite Tool

Before we went Feingold, I thought my working-mom perogotive was to serve some sort of prepared food with our meat and veggies for dinner.  Rice-a-roni, Country Crock mashed potatoes, Stove Top Stuffing.  Breakfasts and snacks were also all nicely prepared and packaged - Welch's Fruit Snacks, Quaker Granola Bars, Eggo waffles, Sun Chips.  Even after we made the switch to all natural, I spent my first Feingold shopping trip at Whole Foods, 45 minutes away from my house, searching the isles for approved brands of my favorite prepared foods. 

However some approved things just couldn't be found.  Like marshmallows.   For a family that loves camping (and need I say it - S'Mores!) we had to have marshmallows.  So I figured out how to make them myself, and I armed my kitchen with the tool to do it - my Kitchenaid Mixer.  From there I started baking from scratch:  cakes, cookies, granola bars, pies.  I learned it took no more time to bake from scratch than to bake from a box, as long as your kitchen is properly stocked with ingredients. . . and a Kitchenaid Mixer. 

From there I set out to make my own bread and my parents bought me my second most used item in the kitchen, my Cuisinart Bread Maker.  There is no comparison to homemade bread and my family eats it just as fast as I can make it.  Boy does the house smell good, too.  And when we found out that even approved yogurt triggers reactions for Ben, I learned how to make my own yogurt . . with my Tribest Yolife Yogurt Maker.  You would not believe how easy and how delicious it is. 

Then I took advantage of an after Christmas sale and bought my Cuisinart Elite Chopper Food Processer.  Man that thing grates cheese in about five seconds.  I have yet to scratch the surface on all the cool things that chopper can do.  My point is that by stocking my kitchen with the right ingredients and tools, I began to challenge myself to see what else I could make from scratch and how much better it would be than what we used to eat.  And now cooking from scratch is my passion.

But it's my newest gadget that I think I've fallen in love with.  A Christmas gift from my mom.  Yes, it's the pasta maker attachment for my Kitchenaid mixer.  Oh, how I love you, you pasta maker attachment, you.  It is as if our family was living in the dark, eating pasta from a box and having to cook it for EIGHT FULL MINUTES.  Well, no more.  For tonight, after trying it for the first time and making the best Fettucini this side of Wilton (ok, it may be the only fettucini served in Wilton I reckin'), we will never go back.  For in five minutes of dough prep, 20 minutes of rising, another 5 minutes to make the noodles, and 2 full minutes of cooking, we had fresh, soft, wonderfully long noodles for our Pasta Carbonara.  And life was good.

My Best Friend's Pasta Carbonara

1 lb pasta (use fresh, trust me)

3 eggs

3 tablespoons cream or milk

1/2 lb bacon, chopped and cooked

1 cup peas, cooked
1 cup freshly grated parmesean
salt and pepper

Cook pasta.  In a small bowl, lightly beat eggs and cream, salt and generous amounts of coarse black pepper.  When pasta is completely cooked, drain and transfer to the serving dish.  Immediately pour the egg mixture over the pasta and mix to completely coat the pasta.  The hot noodles cook the egg mixture (it's true!).  Add the bacon and peas and half the parmesean and toss to mix.  Use the remaining parmesean to sprinkle over each serving. 

Ben had three servings and said it's the best pasta he's ever had.  Here's what it looked like (I know, I should start dressing up if I'm going to blog this stuff, right?):

He's Just a Boy

Many of you may know our story.  Perfect baby boy, apple of our eye.  His first word was "Hi" and he said it to everyone who walked by.  He was content to play by himself, slept great, ate whatever we put in front of him and we could take him anywhere.  When he was two, his baby sister was born.  And when he was two and a half, he turned into the exorcist. 

Our son is now six, and if not for our journey over the past ten months, I wouldn't be writing this blog.  I'd still be engaged in screaming matches and endless time outs.  But we've come a long way since then and since I can't fit a lecture circuit into my busy schedule, I'm going to blog about it. 

When we first started having problems with Ben, we thought it had to do with terrible twos, a new sister and a new daycare.  At three we put him into a preschool, only to remove him one month later before they could kick him out.  He was wild, misbehaved, loud, obnoxious, impulsive and couldn't keep his hands to himself.  And yet at the same time he was sweet, lovable, smart, funny and incredible.  Kindergarten was an anxious time for me.  My shoulders would feel heavy every day when I'd pick him up wondering what shoe had dropped that day:  a card pulled (or three?), a note home, getting pulled aside by a daycare teacher so she could tell me he wouldn't listen to her?  We'd talk about his behavior but he could never explain it.  We tried every Supernanny technique consistently, to no avail.  It was a terrible, dark time. 

The week before we found Feingold, my husband Darrin swore he would never go to baseball practice with Ben again because he was embarrased that our son completly ignored the coach.  Ben's daycare provider told me that she didn't know how to discipline him.  She'd look him in the eyes, make sure he understood the direction she provided, and then he'd turn around and do the opposite.  No amount of consequence seemed to do any good - at home, at daycare or at school.  We had reached rock bottom and had nowhere else to go.  And then my mom suggested I research the link between diet and behavior. 

Now I never thought we ate poorly.  We always ate a homecooked meal around the dinner table each night (ok, maybe we went out to dinner one or two nights a week).  Our kids got all their vegetables, protein and dairy.  I believed that if the FDA approved it, it was fine to eat.  Organic was for "granola" people.  Yet when I read the Feingold website (http://www.feingold.org/) and saw what was in our food and the effects it has on childrens' behavior, I was astounded.  And I cried as I read the testimonials of moms, just like me, who had struggled with their children's behavior, and had turned that behavior around with something so simple as diet changes.  Feingold is a nonprofit organization, so I paid my sum to purchase the materials and I got started immediatly removing everything from our house that had artificial colors, flavors or preservatives. 

In the very first week we saw incredible results.  Where Ben used to play with his large duplo legos for five minutes and throw tantrums because he couldn't build what he envisioned, now he was playing with his small legos for HOURS - making buildings, cars, boats and more.  In fact, his small legos were the only toy he played with that entire week.  No random toys strewn about the house as usual, discarded after five minutes of play.  At baseball practice a week later, the coach asked "Have you been practicing with Ben? It's like he woke up and decided to play baseball!".  Over the next couple of months Ben learned to grasp concepts he was struggling with before like reading and writing, riding a two wheel bike without training wheels, swimming without floaties, and more.  He now had the patience to do challenging things without getting frustrated and giving up.  It was amazing to watch.  And even more amazing to realize how little time he was now spending on time out or screaming at us. 

The past ten months have really been a journey for us.  It has not been easy, and we've dealt with many naysayers and hurdles along the way.  But it has been worth every second, because Darrin and I have our son back.  Our sweet, funny, lovable, smart, talented boy.  I want to share our trials and tribulations so that maybe we can help other children like Ben, whose parents simply aren't aware of the toxins in food that affect children.  As I get to know other Feingold moms I see that our stories have different angles and symptoms, but they all have incredible results.  I hope my blog can share information about diet, recipes, happy memories and laughable moments as we see how our story develops.

We continue to learn more every day about foods and other things that affect our lives, and as we tinker, life gets better every day.  It certainly isn't perfect, but it's life as we know it.