Living In The Moment - Vicariously

This past weekend I went with my little sister, Carla, to look for places for her to live in San Diego.  Carla's boyfriend, Evan, is deployed with the Navy and gets back in September.  Carla is taking the leap, moving to San Diego where Evan will be stationed for two more years.  She wants to move in and have everything ready for Evan when he comes home.  We found her an awesome place that is just perfect for the two of them.

It was so fun house-hunting with my little sister.  Her excitement is contagious and I can't help but feel happy for her starting out this new phase of her life.  And it kept making me think of that time in my life, about 11 years ago, when I was looking for my first house to buy and thinking about settling in with my boyfriend (now my husband) for the first time.

Carla, like any other 20-something going through this phase, was worrying about closet size, where she would fit her dresser, whether or not the kitchen had a gas stove.  I just kept thinking about how much fun she and Evan will have riding their bikes to the local bars and restaurants, learning together how to cook actual meals instead of ordering pizza, developing a routine as a couple instead of two individuals.

I look back so fondly on those first days with Darrin.  Even today, eleven years later, the smell of bacon pasta and a glass of red wine, instantly place me in the kitchen of our first home, Starship's "Miracles" playing on our stereo, and Darrin and I just enjoying each other's company - focused on nothing except ourselves and the moment.

Part of me is extremely jealous that my little sister is getting to live that time in her life - it can't be replaced. My husband and I still get to experience those times only they are in little increments, a weekend stolen away while the kids are at Grandma's, a dinner out while we pay a babysitter.  I wouldn't trade my babies for the world, or the memories we are making these days as a family, but those old times still call out to me too.

I just want to tell Carla, "Don't rush it".  Don't be in a hurry for marriage, or kids.  Just cherish these days because I think they solidify who you are as a couple, and they give you a happy place to think back on those days when the realities of parenthood and life seem heavy.  And I wish my sister all the love, joy and happiness with Evan in their first home together that Darrin and I had in ours.