He's Just a Boy

Many of you may know our story.  Perfect baby boy, apple of our eye.  His first word was "Hi" and he said it to everyone who walked by.  He was content to play by himself, slept great, ate whatever we put in front of him and we could take him anywhere.  When he was two, his baby sister was born.  And when he was two and a half, he turned into the exorcist. 

Our son is now six, and if not for our journey over the past ten months, I wouldn't be writing this blog.  I'd still be engaged in screaming matches and endless time outs.  But we've come a long way since then and since I can't fit a lecture circuit into my busy schedule, I'm going to blog about it. 

When we first started having problems with Ben, we thought it had to do with terrible twos, a new sister and a new daycare.  At three we put him into a preschool, only to remove him one month later before they could kick him out.  He was wild, misbehaved, loud, obnoxious, impulsive and couldn't keep his hands to himself.  And yet at the same time he was sweet, lovable, smart, funny and incredible.  Kindergarten was an anxious time for me.  My shoulders would feel heavy every day when I'd pick him up wondering what shoe had dropped that day:  a card pulled (or three?), a note home, getting pulled aside by a daycare teacher so she could tell me he wouldn't listen to her?  We'd talk about his behavior but he could never explain it.  We tried every Supernanny technique consistently, to no avail.  It was a terrible, dark time. 

The week before we found Feingold, my husband Darrin swore he would never go to baseball practice with Ben again because he was embarrased that our son completly ignored the coach.  Ben's daycare provider told me that she didn't know how to discipline him.  She'd look him in the eyes, make sure he understood the direction she provided, and then he'd turn around and do the opposite.  No amount of consequence seemed to do any good - at home, at daycare or at school.  We had reached rock bottom and had nowhere else to go.  And then my mom suggested I research the link between diet and behavior. 

Now I never thought we ate poorly.  We always ate a homecooked meal around the dinner table each night (ok, maybe we went out to dinner one or two nights a week).  Our kids got all their vegetables, protein and dairy.  I believed that if the FDA approved it, it was fine to eat.  Organic was for "granola" people.  Yet when I read the Feingold website (http://www.feingold.org/) and saw what was in our food and the effects it has on childrens' behavior, I was astounded.  And I cried as I read the testimonials of moms, just like me, who had struggled with their children's behavior, and had turned that behavior around with something so simple as diet changes.  Feingold is a nonprofit organization, so I paid my sum to purchase the materials and I got started immediatly removing everything from our house that had artificial colors, flavors or preservatives. 

In the very first week we saw incredible results.  Where Ben used to play with his large duplo legos for five minutes and throw tantrums because he couldn't build what he envisioned, now he was playing with his small legos for HOURS - making buildings, cars, boats and more.  In fact, his small legos were the only toy he played with that entire week.  No random toys strewn about the house as usual, discarded after five minutes of play.  At baseball practice a week later, the coach asked "Have you been practicing with Ben? It's like he woke up and decided to play baseball!".  Over the next couple of months Ben learned to grasp concepts he was struggling with before like reading and writing, riding a two wheel bike without training wheels, swimming without floaties, and more.  He now had the patience to do challenging things without getting frustrated and giving up.  It was amazing to watch.  And even more amazing to realize how little time he was now spending on time out or screaming at us. 

The past ten months have really been a journey for us.  It has not been easy, and we've dealt with many naysayers and hurdles along the way.  But it has been worth every second, because Darrin and I have our son back.  Our sweet, funny, lovable, smart, talented boy.  I want to share our trials and tribulations so that maybe we can help other children like Ben, whose parents simply aren't aware of the toxins in food that affect children.  As I get to know other Feingold moms I see that our stories have different angles and symptoms, but they all have incredible results.  I hope my blog can share information about diet, recipes, happy memories and laughable moments as we see how our story develops.

We continue to learn more every day about foods and other things that affect our lives, and as we tinker, life gets better every day.  It certainly isn't perfect, but it's life as we know it.