There Are No Participation Trophies In Real Life

One of my new favorite websites, Chicks On The Right, posted this podcast from Adam Carolla.  I don't usually like him, but this podcast is spot on and really quite funny.  Of course you have to ignore all the f-bombs and definitely NOT listen to it at work or in front of your small children.

I heard this podcast a few days ago, but for some reason it has really stuck with me and has been food for thought.  Carolla's main point is that we are ruining kids by teaching them to expect a participation trophy for everything they do.  When we give them a participation trophy, which is the same size as the trophy for being MVP, we are eliminating the incentive to excel.

I witnessed this first hand with my own son.  When Ben played soccer two seasons ago, he drove Darrin and I crazy.  He was more into goofing off with his buddies than he was into practicing.  He'd give us a good, focused first half, but then spend more time with his shirt over his head or trying to make people laugh in the second half.  But at the end of the season, the coach passed out a trophy to every child and congratulated them for what they were "best" at.  Ben won the award for best goalie.  Ben loved to play goalie, but there is no way he was the best.  Truth be told, there was one kid on the team - a total superstar - who deserved ALL the trophies!

This year we told Ben we weren't signing him up for soccer because he did not take it seriously last time.  

Ben's first response:   "MOM!  Yes I was serious - I got BEST GOALIE!" 

Ben's participation trophy had sent him a message that his level of commitment (which was low) was not only good enough to get a trophy, but made him equal with the other players.  As a parent, I would rather that Ben had not received any trophy, so that when he asked me why Superstar Kid got one and not him, I could explain that Superstar Kid was very serious at practice, played his hardest even when he was tired in the game, and practiced at home even when he wasn't with his coach.  Those actions made Superstar Kid very good at soccer, which EARNED Superstar Kid the trophy for MVP.

My kid may have gotten his feelings hurt that day, but he would have known what he needed to do to earn that trophy next year.

Now, fast forward 20 years as the "participation trophy" kids are entering the workforce.  These kids have trouble understanding exactly what earns the raises, promotions, private offices or a spot on the layoff list.  And they think life is unfair when they are not recognized for their ability to do their job.

In the real world, the participation trophy for doing your job is getting a paycheck.

You know what earns you an ACTUAL trophy?  EXCELLENT WORK PRODUCT.

That's it.  There's no secret to it.  You want an "Atta Boy"?   Turn out a work product that is BETTER than what I EXPECTED.

As a manager, there are two levels of criteria on which I base my decisions about employees with regards to promotions, wages, private offices or layoffs.  The first and most important criteria, leaps and bounds above all others, is:  Do you consistently do the job you are paid to do accurately, timely, and at the level you should perform based upon your experience and training?  If the answer is "No", then as a manager I have to decide if more training is necessary.  A "Yes" means you keep your job.  A "Hell Yes!" means you get promoted.  A "No" too many times escorts you out the door.

Then, much lower on the criteria scale (usually used when you have two people vying for one promotion) are all the other factors, assuming work product is equal:  do they put in additional time at work, do they volunteer for responsibility outside their normal job description, do they get along well with everyone or do they cause trouble with their coworkers, do they leave their computer screen on when I come into the room or do they instantly click out of whatever they were doing, do they propose new ideas to help us do things better?  Again, these factors are only important if you have two people who are equal in meeting/exceeding expectations on work product.

I think this is what participation trophy kids have trouble understanding.  People are not equal in their performance.  Whether it is natural born talent, a strong work ethic, an understanding of what is important and what is not, being in the right position for your talents - these things all affect a person's performance.  In addition, not everyone begins at the same starting line.  Some have education that pertains to their career, some have more experience.  Some are  hired simply because they are smart and show a lot of promise, but then have to work harder to make up for their lack of previous training. 

The good thing is, all businesses want their employees to be successful.  Successful employees are happy employees who produce, which increases business success for the company and usually results in long-term employees who get promoted.  That is a win-win situation.  So companies are more than willing to invest in training, mentoring and helping those employees who show a willingness to earn their own success.

As Adam Corolla stated, participation trophies have made kids ill prepared for the real world.  Ben was mad at us for not signing him up for soccer last summer, but it gave us an opportunity to teach him what type of commitment is expected on a sports team - and he has promised to show us during baseball season that he can work hard and stay focused.  As he gets older, this will be a life lesson that he can apply towards work habits as well.

We need to teach our kids that participation doesn't win anything.  Hard work alone doesn't earn anything.  Hard work that results in exceptional work products - THAT wins the trophy every time.